Current:Home > reviewsJoe Biden finally acknowledged his granddaughter. Many know the pain of a family fracture. -AssetScope
Joe Biden finally acknowledged his granddaughter. Many know the pain of a family fracture.
View
Date:2025-04-26 07:17:55
President Joe Biden acknowledged his seventh grandchild publicly for the first time on Friday − but his hesitancy to do so struck a nerve among his supporters and detractors alike.
Several Biden supporters in Philadelphia recently told USA TODAY the president's refusal to publicly mention his 4-year-old granddaughter in Arkansas, whom his son Hunter Biden fathered out of wedlock, while still talking about his other six grandchildren didn't sit right with them. On Friday, the president mentioned his granddaughter publicly for the first time in a statement to People magazine that read: "This is not a political issue, it’s a family matter. Jill and I only want what is best for all of our grandchildren, including Navy.”
Unfortunately, family fractures, including estrangement and disownment, are not uncommon experiences, and they can have debilitating effects on one's mental health and wellbeing, experts say. Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author, estimates over half her therapy clients have experienced a break in their families − a pain that she says can be extraordinary for all those involved.
"Research suggests that the same parts of the brain that process physical pain also process emotional pain, so being cut off or isolated or betrayed or rejected or disowned by your family physically hurts," she says, adding that isolation and loneliness brought on by family estrangement put people at higher risk of anxiety, depression, heart disease and cognitive decline.
The mental health toll of family estrangement
A family can fracture for a lot of reasons; a marriage that some members don't approve of, a feud that went unresolved, substance abuse that hurt those in its wake.
Therapist Gregorio Lozano III says the pain of family abandonment is a primal one, originating from humanity's earliest ancestors. It's stressful and upsetting both for the person who has decided to end contact with a certain family, but especially for the person on the receiving end of that behavior.
"When we experienced a rejection from the tribe, that meant a life or death situation," he says. "Now, we don't have that aspect, but we still have the emotional trauma that can result from that."
For many, family is a core part of one's identity. When someone is disowned or kept from having a relationship with their family, it can undermine their sense of self and self-worth.
"A lot of our identity is tied up into our family: 'Who are my parents? What kind of family do I come from? What do we believe?' " Cole says. "When there is this discord or disconnection or fracture in the family, it affects people to their core."
Watch out:Are you ruining your relationship without even realizing it?
Family estrangement can also lead someone to believe that something is "fundamentally wrong with them," Cole says, which can impact the other relationships they have throughout their life.
"You just never feel like you fit in. You don't know where you belong," she says. "In relationships, you consistently wonder, 'What did they mean by that? Are they mad at me? Why did they say that? Did I do something wrong?' You're constantly wondering, 'Is this relationship OK?' You're constantly taking the emotional temperature of the relationship."
More:Who should you be spending more time with? 6 types of people to keep close.
How to heal from a fractured family
If you're struggling with the pain of your family being estranged, therapists offer the following advice:
- Seek therapy: Family fractures can bring on all kinds of mental health concerns that are best treated by professionals.
- Feel your feelings: Allowing yourself to acknowledge a feeling can be healthier than repressing it, Lozano says. "It's more of what we do with those feelings that matters."
- Build an identity outside your family: Finding passions, hobbies, community and values outside of family can help build self-worth and self-efficacy, Cole says.
- Reflect on how your family fracture may be affecting your other relationships: It's important to take stock of how feelings brought on by a fractured familial relationship may be impacting your other relationships, says psychiatrist Dr. Dion Metzger. "When there's an issue within our family and we feel estranged, it does affect how we approach our relationships, our romantic relationships and our friendships," she says.
- Find healthy relationships: For people with fractured families, Cole stresses the importance of "finding other healthy relationships where you do feel seen or you feel appreciated and supported and connected."
Joe Biden is using a CPAP machineWhat to know about sleep apnea
veryGood! (58188)
Related
- Pressure on a veteran and senator shows what’s next for those who oppose Trump
- Trump’s lawyers tell an appeals court that federal prosecutors are trying to rush his election case
- A game of integrity? Golf has a long tradition of cheating and sandbagging
- Body in Philadelphia warehouse IDed as inmate who escaped in 4th city breakout this year
- Paula Abdul settles lawsuit with former 'So You Think You Can Dance' co
- Officers responding to domestic call fatally shoot man with knife, police say
- Tropical Cyclone Jasper weakens while still lashing northeastern Australia with flooding rain
- Saudi registrants for COP28 included undeclared oil company employees, nonprofit says
- DeepSeek: Did a little known Chinese startup cause a 'Sputnik moment' for AI?
- Cartel leaders go on killing rampage to hunt down corrupt officers who stole drug shipment in Tijuana
Ranking
- Macy's says employee who allegedly hid $150 million in expenses had no major 'impact'
- Will we ever learn who won the $1.76 billion Powerball jackpot in California? Here's what we know
- Technology to stop drunk drivers could be coming to every new car in the nation
- Young Thug trial delayed until January after YSL defendant stabbed in jail
- Friday the 13th luck? 13 past Mega Millions jackpot wins in December. See top 10 lottery prizes
- Kishida says he regrets a ruling party funds scandal and will work on partial changes to his Cabinet
- Hackers had access to patient information for months in New York hospital cyberattack, officials say
- Apple releases beta version of Stolen Device Protection feature
Recommendation
'We're reborn!' Gazans express joy at returning home to north
The 20 Best Celeb-Picked Holiday Gift Ideas for Foodies from Paris Hilton, Cameron Diaz & More
Mysterious morel mushrooms at center of food poisoning outbreak
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott’s Child Liam Undergoes Surgery
Skins Game to make return to Thanksgiving week with a modern look
Friends and teammates at every stage, Spanish players support each other again at Cal
Man, 48, pleads guilty to murder 32 years after Arkansas woman found dead
Shannen Doherty Slams Rumors She and Ex Kurt Iswarienko Had an Open Marriage